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The Value of Saying No

10x Your Life

There are two traits that men seem to have mastered really well that I believe women should emolliate: Saying No and Self Promotion.
For now, let’s look at the value of saying NO as the benefits of self-promotion was discussed in a previous blog.
Men are expected to assert themselves and speak their mind; that’s what gives them status in our society. They learn to say no early on because if they don’t, they’re labeled wimps.

The Value of Giving a ‘No’ 
One of the major reasons women burn out and have very little time for what inspires us is that we take on too many things. This is mainly because we do not know how to say no, perhaps because we want to please everyone. This does not work. We end up totally exhausted with so many misaligned relationships and projects—all because we cannot say NO.
To counteract our socialisation toward helping others to the detriment of ourselves, let’s look at some great reasons to say No. Eventually this will become second nature to you, and you will begin to see that you not only have more time and energy, you are also more content.

•     Time: There are only 24 hours in the day and how we use it makes a difference. There are no refunds if you waste the time. If you are spending a lot of your time helping everyone else with their relationships and projects, it takes away from time you could invest in creating your own unique life.
•     Resentment: If you are continually doing things for others and not yourself, you will have resentment and wonder, “What about me, when is it my time?” This is a big energy waster and leaves you feeling flat and depressed.
•     Exhausted: This naturally continues from time and resentment. If you are always too tired from doing things for everyone else and being resentful, how will you have the energy to create the life you desire?
•     Continually being asked: This is a bit of a snowball effect. When people know that you can’t say no, they will continually ask you to help, as this allows them extra time to create the life they desire!!
•     Not doing your friend any favours: That is right, if you are continually there to help, how are they learning and growing? Growth is what we are all required to do and it’s through doing things ourselves that we grow and learn.

As you start to say no, keep in mind that you do not need to give a reason you can’t do something. This is the biggest trap we fall into. Giving a reason allows others to alter their request to fit in around your reason for saying NO. Keep it simple, just say NO.

A good guide for any request is to ask yourself this question:
“DOES THIS REQUEST MAKE ME FEEL EXCITED OR FURTHER MY GOALS?”

AND If the answer is no, then say NO. It really is that simple.

I am yet to look at a woman’s diary without being able to find them at least an extra 10 hours in a week. We all complain that we would like more time, energy and better relationships. Learn how to say no and this will improve all three.
What things are you going to start saying NO to?
How many more hours per week will you have to spend on things that will make you feel excited and further your goals?

Not sure where to start?

Then check out the many resources on this website.

Until next time…..

Be well and remember to make each day meaningful, memorable and magical………..and never, ever, ever stop dancing!

With Love & Gratitude
Karen Chaston.
​

 

31 January, 2017/by Karen Chaston
https://karenchaston.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Say-No-57869356-s_1.jpg 280 280 Karen Chaston https://karenchaston.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Karen-Chaston-320_70-1.png Karen Chaston2017-01-31 09:33:572019-06-18 10:50:21The Value of Saying No

Finding Your Voice in The Workplace

10x Your Life

A constructive voice, when utilised effectively, will allow you to be recognised, rewarded and promoted in all aspects of your life.
There is really only one main reason men are paid more than women and that is because they ask for more money. They ask for it, it’s that simple.
Some women work very hard day after day thinking, “My boss will notice how great I am, always here on time, never sick, very efficient, so he will pay me what I’m worth.”

Wow, how great would that be? Unfortunately, that is very rarely the case. Don’t rely on merit or hard work to be the basis for pay rises.

We must constantly show and inform our bosses how great we are and what an asset we are to the company. Men are constantly in their boss’ face, telling them how the company could not survive without them, how much money they have saved the company and why they should be paid more money and promoted.

Let’s be honest ladies, how many times have you had a boss who knew less than you, worked less efficiently than you and you wondered why the hell he had the job instead of you, especially seeing you were the reason he shined?
After learning in the mid-90s that a boss was taking credit for most of my work, and being paid four times what I was being paid, I made sure from then on, that the right people were aware of who was doing what. Through self-promotion, I saw my yearly salary more than double over a period of a few years. This would never have happened if I sat back thinking, “They know how valuable I am.”
Also, a lot of women hold back on sharing money-saving ideas as they feel they may be perceived as a trouble maker in the eyes of their employer. This is classic survival mode. What we are really thinking is “I need this job to survive,” and we remain merely surviving instead of thriving.

Now don’t get me wrong, I totally understand the thinking, “I can’t rock the boat, I have a mortgage to pay. I can’t survive without this job as I am living week to week.”
Also, that way of thinking is “topsy-turvy thinking.” It comes from a lack of self-worth and self-esteem and is the reason we are trapped in a ground-hog day life, so to speak.
By sharing our ideas with our bosses in a constructive, professional manner, they will more likely notice us, see that we care about the organisation, be thankful that they can save some money and, more importantly, may even promote us, especially if we continue to come up with these ideas.

In the early 90s, I was working at Dreamworld (a theme park on the Gold Coast in Australia) when the company went into receivership. During the first month, the receivers had a meeting with all 400 staff members. The first question they asked was: “If this was your company, what procedure or thing would you change/put in place to save money.” By utilising the ideas from staff, the receivers immediately cut expenses by 30% and added a couple of new revenue streams.
From then on, I have utilised this way of thinking, constantly asking myself: “How can I do this more efficiently?” One of my pet hates when I questioned a procedure or process was to hear: “We have always done it this way.”
I always managed to save expenses. As I was very efficient in my work, I always took on extra tasks and when I left a company; 1.5 or 2 people normally replaced my role to accomplish the same amount of work.
Start thinking and working from this perspective. Put your hand up for projects even if you feel that you may not have all the skills required for the tasks. You will learn quickly and grow exponentially when you are given the chance. And guess what? No one expects you to know it all. You just must know where to look for answers and the internet is a valuable resource.

Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Group, is the first to admit that he is never the smartest person in any company meeting. He hires people to fill the gaps in his knowledge. A favourite quote of Richard’s (and there are many) is: “If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you’re not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later.”

It is everyone’s right to have a joyous, harmonious and prosperous life, so go and get it. Stop playing small. You know in your heart that you desire it because you deserve it. And your voice is the key.

Not sure where to start?

Then check out the many resources on this website.

Until next time…..

Be well and remember to make each day meaningful, memorable and magical………..and never, ever, ever stop dancing!

With Love & Gratitude
Karen Chaston.
​

 

20 January, 2017/by Karen Chaston
https://karenchaston.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/voice-42420493-s_1_orig.jpg 450 450 Karen Chaston https://karenchaston.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Karen-Chaston-320_70-1.png Karen Chaston2017-01-20 09:33:542019-06-18 10:53:19Finding Your Voice in The Workplace

Developing a Self-Assured Feminine Communication Style

10x Your Life

The way you speak conveys a tremendous amount of information about who you are and how much value you have. Using your voice properly can help you hold attention, and make everyone listen to what you say.
There is nothing worse than listening to a woman who speaks with a high-pitched voice, who also finishes her sentences with an infliction. Straight away you discount everything she has to say as she does not even believe it!!

Follow these simple guidelines to improve the way people respond to your voice.
•     Speak Low: Eliminate the nasally high-pitched voice. You need to find the lowest natural part of your speaking voice and emphasise that. Singers are often taught about singing from their belly, and you want to do the same thing. You want to be speaking from the chest and gut, which will sound lower and more resonant than speaking from your throat or head.
•     Speak Loud: A male is not afraid of the sound of his own voice. He knows that what he is saying is worth listening to. Practice speaking, just a little louder than you’re used to. Project your words so people can hear you easily.
•     Direct: Try to eliminate “ums” and “ahs” from your diction, as these words make you sound uncertain and weak. Take a pause instead of saying these things.
•     Speak Slow: When someone panics, they usually speak faster. They’re in a rush, worried that they’re not going to be able to say everything they want to say. What you must realise is that rushed speech communicates low value. Alpha, dominant males speak slowly. They know that they can take their time because people will listen. Therefore, slow down. Take your time, and trust that what you’re saying is worth your audience’s time. Be aware of the tendency most people have to speed up when they get nervous, and squash this habit. In fact, when you notice yourself getting nervous, feel free to just stop, take a deep breath, and then continue at a slower pace. It’ll make you sound more in control, and that will help you feel more in control.

If you want people to listen and value what you have to say, follow these simple tips – loud, low, direct, and slow.

Not sure where to start?

Then check out the many resources on this website.

Until next time…..

Be well and remember to make each day meaningful, memorable and magical………..and never, ever, ever stop dancing!

With Love & Gratitude
Karen Chaston.
​

 

13 January, 2017/by Karen Chaston
https://karenchaston.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/yourstyle-45871341-s_1.jpg 210 210 Karen Chaston https://karenchaston.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Karen-Chaston-320_70-1.png Karen Chaston2017-01-13 09:33:222019-06-18 10:55:49Developing a Self-Assured Feminine Communication Style

Allowing Yourself To Trust Your Intuition

10x Your Life

Intuition: the ability to understand something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning….”we shall allow our intuition to guide us.”

Tuning into and trusting your intuition can be difficult. With so much noise, information, and clutter within the world, our thoughts can often be clouded with distractions.
The intuitive voice is a powerful one, but it often needs a quiet, calm, reflective environment to find its way.
Learn where you can find some peace, go there when times are hard, and listen with all your might to what your heart and soul are telling you.
Your intuition wants to guide and support you. Therefore, give it the space to be heard.

Popping Your “Genie Bottle” Cork

I just loved the old TV sitcom “I Dream of Jeannie”. How about you?
Just thinking about Jeannie takes me back to my childhood and how much fun I always had watching the show. Jeannie always managed to get Tony into so much trouble. Well, that is how it appeared then.
Now, as a more conscious adult, I am more aware that Jeannie was just being true to her authentic self. She was courageous; she remained TRUE to who she was, never changing to conform to anyone else’s expectations, opinions or beliefs as to who she should BE or how she should act.
Jeannie lived her life in her Essence, always joyous. She always listened to her intuition and her heart, never allowing her brain to get in her way.
That is why people like us love Jeannie so much. We wanted to live life her way, not confined in our comfort zone allowing our FEAR to dictate the way we live, personally or professionally.
Maybe the show should have been called “I Dream to BE like Jeannie”.

Do you feel it’s time to stop hiding and “pop the cork” on your “genie bottle” allowing your authentic self to come out?
Do you feel it’s time to open more to your intuition and listen to your heart rather than your brain?
Regularly, remind yourself, that within, you have inner wisdom.
Women who believe and listen to their intuition, live from their heart, are transparent, live in the moment, are spontaneous and embody Ease and Grace.

That’s the woman I am and you can easily become her as well.

Not sure where to start?

Then check out the many resources on this website.

Until next time…..

Be well and remember to make each day meaningful, memorable and magical………..and never, ever, ever stop dancing!

With Love & Gratitude
Karen Chaston.
​

 

6 January, 2017/by Karen Chaston
https://karenchaston.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Intuition-35430554-s_1_orig.jpg 338 450 Karen Chaston https://karenchaston.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Karen-Chaston-320_70-1.png Karen Chaston2017-01-06 09:33:092019-06-18 10:58:33Allowing Yourself To Trust Your Intuition

Ascertain What’s Getting In Your Way

10x Your Life

I always find it interesting when people comment that they have done so much work on themselves they do not require any more self-help courses and then in the next breath they comment that they are very unhappy and unfulfilled.
Life is a journey of continual self-discovery. I love the analogy that your life is a lotus flower as rows of buds begin to open; more rows appear for you to unravel.
One thing I know for sure, is that as long as you’re comparing yourself to anyone else you will always be coming up short as you are comparing your back of house to someone else’s front of house. Any if you have ever been in a kitchen of any restaurant (uptown or down) you will know that appearances are not reality.

The only person I’m in competition with is “Yesterday Me.”

That way I have a genuine starting line. I know exactly where I’ve been and where I would like to go and where I don’t want to go. I see the obstacles in the way and know that most them are actually my own.
There are many things we put in our way that stops us from becoming the person we desire to be.
But what if we could make some major changes to your life, just by following an easy step-by-step plan?
Every day, we make a choice to step up or stay where we are.
We can choose to be bold and live outside our comfort zone despite our fears, self-doubts and limiting beliefs, or we can stay in our comfort zone and play it safe.
Unfortunately, the more we live inside our comfort zone, the less comfortable it becomes. Eventually, our comfort zone will become uncomfortable…very uncomfortable.

Not sure where to start?

Then check out the many resources on this website.

Until next time…..

Be well and remember to make each day meaningful, memorable and magical………..and never, ever, ever stop dancing!

With Love & Gratitude
Karen Chaston.
​

 

1 January, 2017/by Karen Chaston
https://karenchaston.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Get-in-your-way-15845982-s_1_orig.jpg 450 365 Karen Chaston https://karenchaston.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Karen-Chaston-320_70-1.png Karen Chaston2017-01-01 09:33:382019-06-18 11:01:06Ascertain What’s Getting In Your Way

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