Today, I thought it was time to share the most important thing you can do to move beyond any kind of loss.
It does not matter if it’s a loss of a loved one, a divorce, separation, your health, wealth or any of the 40+ loss events, this is for you.
You see, we have been doing loss wrong. Not just now, though for centuries and centuries.
We have created and listened to the cliches and beliefs around loss and we then think that this is how you do loss.
Wrong wrong wrong.
Don’t believe me? Then look around.
What do you see? People grieving and suffering.
Creating unhealthy habits just to get through the day.
We have all bought into it. We have all contributed to the $trillion pharmaceutical and alcohol industries.
Most of us have even told each other, to just get over it.
Keep busy. Give it time. No wonder people are suffering in silence.
No wonder the suicide rates are growing daily!
It does not have to be that way. All we have to do is this one thing. It’s not easy (which is probably why many don’t do it.) Though this is the way that you can move beyond any kind of loss, to create your better everyday life.
The hardest and most important thing to do is to STOP.
- Stop putting yourself last.
- Stop listening to others.
- Stop looking at the five stages of grief and comparing where you’re at.
- Stop believing you have to grieve and suffer.
- Stop ignoring your inner guidance.
- Stop all the avoidance tactics.
- Stop blaming everyone else.
- Stop blaming yourself.
- Stop caring about everyone else.
- Stop believing that bad things always happen to you.
- Stop believing that you are unlovable.
- Stop caring about what everyone else thinks about you.
- Stop asking for permission.
- Stop believing that you’re depressed.
- Stop thinking that it takes time.
- Stop ignoring the emotions.
- Stop thinking that you can’t go on.
- Stop thinking that if you loved them you will never get over this.
- Stop thinking that your life has gone down the drain!
- Stop not taking care of yourself.
- Stop sitting on the couch.
- Stop staying home alone.
- Stop sitting around for a magic wand to appear and fix all this.
- Stop waiting waiting waiting………
- Stop believing that you don’t know what to do now.
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
- Stop pretending that you are not in control of what happens next.
- Stop being a victim.
- Stop with all the excuses.
- Stop believing that you can no longer have your dream life.
Then after you have stopped you can then take a conscious loving breath and start asking yourself the most important question, “What does this mean for me now?”
What I’ve learned through my clients, my family, and my journey through loss is that stopping is step one. The hardest step.
Then facing the silence, and dealing with your connection to the loss, is virtually impossible without a gentle, simple process to follow and a sacred community of people to love and support you through the pain, suffering, sadness, and emotion.
It’s even harder when you stop and feel, then don’t know what to do.
It’s so easy to stop, then drink more, eat more, shop more, and cover the pain all over again.
Most of us intuitively feel and know what to do when we stop, but doing the work, then being alone can feel like you’re winded (like you’ve had the breathe knocked out of you with a 100km/hour football to your stomach).
You don’t have to do it alone. And there are people here that understand you and can gently guide you through this.
It’s why I’ve built my community and my process.
All of that loneliness you carry doesn’t have to be so hard. And stopping is beautiful when you have people that love you and guide you and allow you to feel your emotions. I believe this is the gift. (It’s just hard to unwrap in this loss package.)
I believe that’s why you’re reading this. Your heart and intuition have brought you here. You don’t have to do it all alone.
Stay well and reach out when you’d like to know more.
With Love and Gratitude,