How is life treating you at the moment? Is it treating you really well or are you having a pretty challenging time at the moment?
No matter where you are, life can always get better………… or worse. I’ve always resonated with the saying “be grateful for where you are in life, as someone else is wishing to be living your life.”
And sometimes all it takes is a perspective change. A new realisation that will give you a different way of looking at things.
The easiest way for me to explain this is for me to introduce you to Daniela.
Daniela had the life, many of us dream about. Travelling the world. An executive for many top companies.
Living in over 10 different countries and speaking four languages. In 2006, she met the love of her life. For the next few years, they did everything together.
Sharing their greatest loves together ~ he taught her how to play golf and she taught him how to love cooking.
When he asked her to marry him, he added….
“I waited a long time for you, thank you for finally showing me what it truly means to love another person.”
Then in late 2010, their life changed forever. He was diagnosed with throat cancer. They decided to base themselves in one place and she became his full-time carer. He slept for long periods of time so she decided the best way to fill her time would be to become a business coach.
As the years ticked past, with him going in and out of remission, they both became depressed. Even though they did not realise it at the time, they were both (at different times) grieving for their past life. They were angry that life had thrown them this tragic curveball.
They started to grow apart. Even though they still physically and emotionally cared for each other they became very sad ~ one had what the other wanted, and that the other could not have what they wanted because of the other.
Does this sound familiar? That you want your old life back?
That the other person is no longer able to be there for you, the way they used to? Whether it’s because of a death, a divorce, a job loss, health or financial loss or any other of the 40+ loss events, you’re feeling “ I do not like where I am now and I just want to go back!”
Daniela thought that the best way to get through this was to get busy. She was there for all her husband’s basic needs……….
Though in hindsight just barely. But her coaching business was thriving!
Eventually his cancer got so bad that he had to be fed intravenously. They could no longer share two of the greatest joys in their lives ~ cooking and golf.
In mid-2019 as she was about to go out for a walk, he told her that he loved her and was incredibly grateful that she was his wife.
When she returned, he had passed away…………..
A heart breaking, tough moment for her.
Instead of accepting, after his funeral, she got really busy and had her best year ever. When we met a couple of months ago, she said that she had been so proud that for the past year she did not miss any of her client’s appointments and that she had been able to be there more for them.
She then said that she needed my help. A mutual friend had directed her to listen to my videos. During our two months together, she came to have a new perspective in regard to all she had been through.
She said that if she could go back in time these are the things she would have changed:
- I would have stopped wishing for my past life and I would have looked at ways to find Joy in my current situation.
- I would have taken the time to sit and talk with my husband when he brought me a cup of tea……
- It would have been good for us both mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When he coughed, I would have sent him love and healing blessings instead of cringing.
- I would have enjoyed every second with him, as now that I have my freedom, life seems worse than it did during those nine years.
- She also mentioned that she wished that she had known the simple 5-step Gift of Loss process then. It would have greatly benefited both her and her husband.
- They would not have become depressed.
- They would have found love and joy and a better way to move forward.
Life will always present us with many different challenges. Things that will change our life forever. Though no matter what life throws our way, we always have a choice in how we respond. It will always come down to us finding our better way forward.
Daniela is in the process of moving again. She has designed her new life and has a clear road map for every area of her life…………….
This is what Daniela said after our time together,
“You said, I’d be a completely different person after our time together. I was not sure how that would be possible. Now after our relatively short time together, this process has been extremely useful as now you’ve given me a new perspective and a clear path forward, for all areas of my life. Thank you, Karen, I’m extremely grateful. Daniela”
When you are ready, to heal all that has happened, please reach out.
Always remember “Life is way too short for anyone to be spending their time stuck in the past. The person you lost, or the people that were a part of your loss event, would never want you to be stuck or sad. There is no need to wish for things to be different.”
Like Daniela, you can Discover the Meaning From Your Loss and Empower Your Life, supported by your loss.
