It Hurts to Be Human

Today, we are going to deep dive into something that does not come easy to many of us.

Though when we take the steps to Heal all that has happened to us, the magical thing is that, it’s also a gigantic step towards us reclaiming our power.

Healing gives us the opportunity to fit the pieces back together in such a way that we become stronger than ever before.

We learn and grow through our experiences. When we take the time to deep-dive into our past experiences to heal them, we receive all the many gems and lessons.

Healing is not about condoning the things that have been done or said.

Healing is ALL about YOU.

It’s about releasing the baggage so that we are not weighed down by it. It’s about learning from the past, so that we can design a better future. It’s important for you to know that the Healing process from your past is not a one day activity.

The Beyond Loss programs that we run at the Chaston Centre range from a 3 day intensive program up to an online nine week program.

Today’s email is about assisting you to understand why your healing is a very important process in you revitalising your life. Assisting you to design the life that you’ll live and love each and every day.

Keep reading if you’re ready to reclaim your power and design your better future.

The Importance of Healing

Life is going to send us all life-changing challenges and events. At the Chaston Centre we call them Loss Events. We have identified over 40 different loss events. We all will have multiple Loss Events, that will affect us emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. They affect our Heart and our Soul.

When we have a physical injury we seek medical assistance, though when we have internal injuries for some reason there is a relutance to seek help.

There seems to be a shroud of shame and secrecy hovering around emotional “damage”. Vulnerability and human fragility generate fear. When unforeseen things happen that shatter life as we know it, it lights up these “weaknesses.”

We deserve more than that, and that is the importance of healing. We are whole beings. We are physical, cognitive, emotional, spiritual beings, with all four aspects intricately woven together.

If one part of us hurts, the whole is affected. When one part of us is not assisted to heal, our whole being suffers. True respect for ourselves grows out of an acknowledgement of our wholeness. Only then are we able to recognise that in order to care for ourselves we have to care for the WHOLE us.

Now is the Time to Heal Your Past

Deep-diving into to you to heal your past can take as little or as long as you like. It is a choice. When you are ready reach out. Though in the mean time, here are some simple to implement strategies that meet you where you are at today assisting you to move forward:

  1. Create dedicated time to focus on your wellness
  2. Embrace your gratitude practice
  3. Set intentions for who you want to be in the next hour/day/month/ year/etc
  4. Learn how to receive
  5. See and focus on all that you have gained

A life-changing adversity can be crushing. If you allow it, the weight of it can keep you flat for a long time. Make a commitment to your healing. Take Life up on its offer of assisting you to thrive in all areas of your life..

Now is the time to heal and enjoy your life.

Have fun with this. Have a great week and make every day Meaningful Memorable and Magical.

Stay well and always remember that there is great love here for you.

With Love and Gratitude

 

 

 

 

 

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The Maze of The Daze

Recently I shared this video on facebook. It’s about the Ground-Hog Day Daze.

Many people don’t even realise that they are in the Daze, let alone know that they are stuck. So today lets deep dive into the DAZE.

What it is. What are the signs and how you can awaken from it……….

The Ground-Hog Day Daze

 

Most times when loss comes to visit, in any of it’s 40+ forms, whether its expected or not, it can stop us in our tracks. We don’t know what to do. We have all these emotions running rampant throughout our body. 24/7. And there are also, all these people giving us all different sorts of well-meaning advice.

We are not really capable of making any choices, at the moment, so we take the easy and innate option ~

We go into SURVIVAL

This is what I call the ground-hog day daze. And this can come in two different forms.Most of us will have a default loss survival pattern ~ their own way of experiencing the DAZE. Firstly, there is the one where you FREEZE. You’re a deer in the head lights! You are not capable of doing anything. You wake each morning, ready to start to get life back to normal. Though before you know it, it’s 5pm and you are still in your pj’s, sitting on the couch, wondering what happened to the time. Or you may innately choose the second version.The one that I have practised most of my life. The one where you get really busy. This is the RUNNING version.

It’s like you’re running from the proverbial saber-tooth tiger, though in fact you’re running from feeling what you’re going through. In this version, you return to your normal life, though it’s like you’re on SPEED. You are working harder, longer, you are eating more, you are drinking more. You are constantly on. Because you know that if you STOP, everything will catch up with you. Neither version is ideal for you. And the sad thing is that many people stay in either version of the DAZE for weeks, months, years and in one lady’s case, that I met, she stayed in it for 20 years.

She was FROZEN, numbing herself from the pain of losing her daughter. Though the saddest thing was that along the way she lost so much more. She lost her husband through divorce, most of her friends, her high powered career, most of her finances and her house. Though the biggest loss of all was that she had lost herself. She was merely surviving. She was in the MAZE of the DAZE and she was reaching out to me to assist her live again. To love life again.

Does this sound familiar? Can you relate to

Are you currently stuck in either version? Are you even aware that there may be a better way to move beyond your loss?

After Dan, my 27-year old son, passed away in July 2011, as I mentioned I went into my SPEED version of the DAZE. I stayed there for over 15 months. I may probably still be there if I had not received my next major loss event. That came in the form of me having to choose redundancy or go with the newly merged company “doing all that I do now plus more” for 2/3rds of my current salary. Thankfully, I was awake enough to choose me. Thankfully I was awake enough to realise that there had to be a better way to move beyond the loss of my much loved CFO of a publicly listed company role……………. and finally honour Dan instead of doing everthing possible to avoid facing the pain and suffering of losing my son.

That is when I started on the journey, searching for a better way to do loss. Though the first steps taken were the steps that I refer to as ‘Becoming my own best friend.’ This, I believe is the first step we all must take, to move beyond any kind of loss.

Every life path has many twists and turns. Life will give you exactly what you need to take you to the next step of your evolution.

May be that is why you are reading this today!

All I know for sure is that when you learn how to move beyond any and all kinds of loss, you will look at life differently. You will begin to see it as a magical, wonderful, meaningful, enjoyable and memorable ride. A ride that will take you to a place that you could not have possibly known existed.

When you’re ready to awaken from the Ground-Hog Day Daze, reach out, as that is how you make every day Meaningful Memorable and Magical.

Stay well and always remember that there is great love here for you.

With Love and Gratitude

 

 

 

 

 

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Finding Clarity

Today I’ve been guided to write about something we all seek at various times throughout our lives. It’s something that I have noticed that many people are lacking in their life.

It is something that will stand out, as a MUST HAVE, when loss comes to visits.

I’m talking about Clarity.

Clarity means clearness.

Or for a better definition lets go to Abraham Hicks…………

When we bring clarity to what has happened. To what it means for us now. What it means for us tomorrow and then all of the next days after that, we can then begin to get excited about jumping out of bed, today and tomorrow. And about our life.

When we are in the midst of our loss, (any of the 40+ different loss events), our future is very murky. Very hazy. We can not clearly see what the best step forward is for us.

And because we can not see how to move forward, we get stuck. We freeze. And for many of us, we are still frozen many days, months and even years later.

Clarity brings us a vision beyond our current self. It assists us to imagine our best self. The one that we may have been dreaming about for a long time.

I can feel you asking, “So how do I bring clarity into my life?”

Let’s explore just that!

Finding Clarity

“What you seek is seeking you!” ~ Rumi

Rumi’s saying is so true. What you are seeking will find you….. once you start to take some action steps towards it.

The first step is for you to begin to do the deep dive within yourself to find what is meaningful for you. What is missing in your life. Not just over all though in all areas of your life.

Remember that sometimes when you feel there is something missing in your life, maybe that something is YOU!

The Chaston Centre’s wellness wheel has nine areas of life.

As you may imagine, each area will bring different meaningful hopes, dreams and aspirations.

With this in mind, the first clarity question is to ask what is important for me, at this time? What will bring meaning to me? To my best self.

Then ask this for each area of your life. You may choose to do one area a day. To sit with your journal book and ask these questions:

“If I could have all that I desire, if I knew that no mountain was too high, what would be my ideal dream to enhance this area of my life? What needs to happen for me to have all the Joy, Love, Fulfillment, Connection and Meaning, that I have been seeking?

Dig deep and hold back nothing. You as much as anyone else, deserve to have all that you desire. All that is required is for you to believe that you can have it. That you are worthy.

So often it is us that holds us back. That we feel that we are not worthy.

You are. I know you are. You would not be here, if you were not.

Step Two

Then once you know where you would like to be. Who you’d like to be, the second step is to start to utilise your senses.

All six of them!

Start to feel into what your daily life will be like. Bring in the feeling. Get excited about what you will be doing when you have created that life.

Start to see what you’re life will be like. Sit down and close your eyes. Then visualise what you will be doing. How you will feel. Who you will be. Feel into the visualisation. Taste how good you will feel. Talk how you’d like to talk. Listen how you’d like to listen. Have the meaningful conversations you’ve been wanting to have. Reach out and touch it. Bring it ALL to you.

Vision beyond your current self.

Many people see this part of the exercise as nonsense though it’s a very important part. You see, your subconscious does not understand the difference between reality and our visualisations. The more that you visualise with all of your senses. The more that you believe in these becoming your reality, the easier it is for you to create and bring them into reality.

The easier it will be for you to then take the actions steps required to take you from where you are today to where you would like to be.

Once you have a taste of what is truly possible and have had a trial run, a walk through, know that the visualisation is the driving force that makes it become reality.

Do not miss this step. Do not see it as nonsense. It’s actually about you dropping the ‘non’ and ‘sensing’ into it. See it. Feel it. Taste it. Believe it. Talk it. Know that it is all about bringing your destined reality to you now, so you can be there in the future..

Remember you are SEEKING clarity to a better life.

SEE first, then you will live like a KING………… especially when you do all the steps!

Step Three

Now it’s time for you to figure out all the steps required, that will take you from where you are today to where you have envisioned yourself being.

What are the skills required. What are the actions steps What is the most ideal order for all of these things to happen.

Plan the entire journey. List the steps in chronological order. Add an expected length of time for each item to be completed. Then when you add them up you know exactly how long it will take for you to go from where you are today to creating your ideal dream life……………. In all areas of your life.

Then, you diarise each action step. Perform them as they come up in your calendar. Knowing that each time you do that action, you are moving one step closer to where you want to be.

Know that each time you say no to others, in order for you to do an action step, you are saying YES to YOU and YOUR BETTER FUTURE.

This is how you bring Clarity to your life.

This is how you bring Meaning to your life.

Joy to your life.

Love to your life.

And Fulfillment to your life.

It all begins with you seeking clarity.

I trust that this has assisted you to begin to know, that you are worthy of having a life filled with all that you desire.

Reach out if you have any questions or require assistance with this.

In the meantime have a AbFab week and make every day Meaningful Memorable and Magical.

Stay well and always remember that there is great love here for you.

With Love and Gratitude

 

 

 

 

 

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Dancing to Your Rhythm of Life

Have you noticed that ‘Life leads us on a journey of love and loss?”

Love is the energy that we breathe and we all need to sustain us. Most of us seem to know how to love. We chase it. We thrive when we are in love ~ With ourselves, with another, with things, with places and with life.

Yet when loss comes to visit, in any of its 40+ different forms, many of us get stuck, FROZEN.and in many ways, giving up on life. Saying things like:

  • What’s the point of living?
  • I will never love again
  • They were my entire life and I can’t live without them.
  • Just getting out of bed is a huge ask.

We start to deep dive into all the various avoidance tactics. They become our daily habits, which keep us stuck, living in the past and on an emotional merry-go-round.

In some ways ensuring that all the things you’ve been saying become true. Become your reality for the rest of your life. Probably ensuring that you’ll never move from the loss back to love.

It does not have to be this way.

You see, only when you dance to the rhythm of life, does the music and the magic happen.

Today is about finding your balance within the pattern of life. It’s about finding a new perspective, a new way of looking at things. A way that will assist you in some ways to step out of your life and look back at yourself, in a way to find the answers so, you may be able to easily move from where you are today, to a place that you have long ago dreamt about being.

A New Perspective

I have found that one of the greatest gifts you can give to your self is to ask quality questions:

  • Is there another way of looking at this?
  • Is there a better way, an easier way?
  • Am I missing something here?
  • Am I making this a lot harder on me, than it needs to be?
  • Is my belief in the way to do this, serving me or hindering me?

Then to listen to your answers.

And whilst you are listening to your answers, start to also listen to the things that you are thinking and saying to yourself and others.

You see our thoughts and beliefs create our reality!

So, when we start to listen to them, and then ask, “well is that true?” “is that the life, I want moving forward?” more than likely the answer will be NO.

Which is an absolutely fabulous realisation to have.

As then you can start to design the life that will bring you back to LOVE. And from that place, your “love life” design will ensure that all of your dreams come into reality.

Life is an infinite journey from Love to Loss and then back to Love.

Today’s questions will assist you to step up and to get back into the groove and natural rhythm of your life.

Take the time to open to love, rekindle the flame within and awaken the heart connection to allow love to flow back in.

Then when loss comes again, you will know that the quickest road back to love is to deep dive into the loss. Asking the quality questions so you can find the many gems and insights that this loss event is bringing to you.

Reach out if you have any questions or require assistance with this.

In the meantime have a AbFab week and make every day Meaningful Memorable and Magical.

Stay well and always remember that there is great love here for you.

With Love and Gratitude

 

 

 

 

 

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