Recently I shared this video on facebook. It’s about the Ground-Hog Day Daze.
Many people don’t even realise that they are in the Daze, let alone know that they are stuck. So today lets deep dive into the DAZE.
What it is. What are the signs and how you can awaken from it……….
The Ground-Hog Day Daze
Most times when loss comes to visit, in any of it’s 40+ forms, whether its expected or not, it can stop us in our tracks. We don’t know what to do. We have all these emotions running rampant throughout our body. 24/7. And there are also, all these people giving us all different sorts of well-meaning advice.
We are not really capable of making any choices, at the moment, so we take the easy and innate option ~
We go into SURVIVAL
This is what I call the ground-hog day daze. And this can come in two different forms.Most of us will have a default loss survival pattern ~ their own way of experiencing the DAZE. Firstly, there is the one where you FREEZE. You’re a deer in the head lights! You are not capable of doing anything. You wake each morning, ready to start to get life back to normal. Though before you know it, it’s 5pm and you are still in your pj’s, sitting on the couch, wondering what happened to the time. Or you may innately choose the second version.The one that I have practised most of my life. The one where you get really busy. This is the RUNNING version.
It’s like you’re running from the proverbial saber-tooth tiger, though in fact you’re running from feeling what you’re going through. In this version, you return to your normal life, though it’s like you’re on SPEED. You are working harder, longer, you are eating more, you are drinking more. You are constantly on. Because you know that if you STOP, everything will catch up with you. Neither version is ideal for you. And the sad thing is that many people stay in either version of the DAZE for weeks, months, years and in one lady’s case, that I met, she stayed in it for 20 years.
She was FROZEN, numbing herself from the pain of losing her daughter. Though the saddest thing was that along the way she lost so much more. She lost her husband through divorce, most of her friends, her high powered career, most of her finances and her house. Though the biggest loss of all was that she had lost herself. She was merely surviving. She was in the MAZE of the DAZE and she was reaching out to me to assist her live again. To love life again.
Does this sound familiar? Can you relate to
Are you currently stuck in either version? Are you even aware that there may be a better way to move beyond your loss?
After Dan, my 27-year old son, passed away in July 2011, as I mentioned I went into my SPEED version of the DAZE. I stayed there for over 15 months. I may probably still be there if I had not received my next major loss event. That came in the form of me having to choose redundancy or go with the newly merged company “doing all that I do now plus more” for 2/3rds of my current salary. Thankfully, I was awake enough to choose me. Thankfully I was awake enough to realise that there had to be a better way to move beyond the loss of my much loved CFO of a publicly listed company role……………. and finally honour Dan instead of doing everthing possible to avoid facing the pain and suffering of losing my son.
That is when I started on the journey, searching for a better way to do loss. Though the first steps taken were the steps that I refer to as ‘Becoming my own best friend.’ This, I believe is the first step we all must take, to move beyond any kind of loss.
Every life path has many twists and turns. Life will give you exactly what you need to take you to the next step of your evolution.
May be that is why you are reading this today!
All I know for sure is that when you learn how to move beyond any and all kinds of loss, you will look at life differently. You will begin to see it as a magical, wonderful, meaningful, enjoyable and memorable ride. A ride that will take you to a place that you could not have possibly known existed.
When you’re ready to awaken from the Ground-Hog Day Daze, reach out, as that is how you make every day Meaningful Memorable and Magical.
Stay well and always remember that there is great love here for you.
With Love and Gratitude