One thing I have learned on my beyond loss journey is that awareness is everything and that so often we find it easier to put our head in the sand.
To avoid at all costs rather than taking the time to understand what is happening. To look for ways to find the GIFTS and the LESSONS, so you can come to love, gratitude and have clarity to create your better everyday life.
With this in mind, I thought this Sun Day 14th of November 2021, it would be ideal to share why you do this.
Have fun with this deep-dive. It is so rewarding!
Coping strategies are psychological patterns that individuals use to manage thoughts, feelings, and actions encountered during any loss event. Many times, in life we have developed unconscious habits that are not serving us. To change a habit, we must first be aware of it.
During this phase, our behavioural, cognitive, or emotional activity directs us away from a perceived threat (e.g., denial, withdrawal).
This strategy seems to be a default one for many. Early on we may learn to cover up, hide, or bury our feelings. It is not surprising that sometime later we adapt that same behaviour and cover up our feelings under alcohol or other drugs or other not so ideal habits.
Begging to ask are you DANCING with the devil or DANCING to the music that is within you? Your true Essence!
During this phase we are purposefully engaging in activities being distracted by others, in order to not have to think about the event.
Whilst this strategy may initially be effective in dealing with particularly intense feelings and may serve to decrease distress, in the long term if you stay in this for too long it is like you are PASSING on life.
We are here to embrace all of life’s events, to learn and grow from them not to pass on them.
During this phase we are actively gathering information, securing social support, prioritising tasks, active distraction and problem solving.
I love the way my branding lady clearly highlights what this strategy (and the other two) is all about.
It is about you ACTING in a conscious way. Creating the positive outcomes, you desire.
Which is your default coping strategy? Active, Passive or Avoidance?
Today spend some time, deep-diving into these three strategies. List times when you have utilised these strategies.
Becoming aware of your default coping strategy is the first step in assisting you to move to a more healthier and resilient strategy
Now, that is a WRAP for Sun Day the 14th of November 2021: Your Day to Shine.
I am a great believer that both trials and tribulations, come into our life to take us to a better place. Though sometimes we get stuck in “the Coping Strategy” that we developed as a child and are no longer serving us.
It does not have to stay that way.
Take the time to know what coping strategy you use when different trials and tribulations come into your life. Then next week I will deep dive into how you can move from avoidance to active.
Have an amazing week. Make each day, Meaningful Memorable and Magical.
Stay well and always remember that there is great love here for you.
With Love and Gratitude