Life throws us many challenges, and, many times we respond like Scarlet O’Hara……..
“Oh Fiddle-dee-dee, I’ll think about that tomorrow.”
Though what happens when many tomorrows have passed and you are still passing on life?
Well, you can reach out to a Beyond Loss Expert, like me, just as Anna did :)…
Today, I thought it’d be good for you to hear a story from someone that has lost a mum, a dad, and a partner all at the same time…
Anna had a lot going on in her life at the time.
Her marriage was falling apart, her stepfather was dying, and all she wanted was her mum.
Someone to talk to and to assist her with her young son.
She just wanted to feel a hug from mum one more time. Her voice, even the sound of her telling her that she was doing something the wrong way.
Alas, that was not to be.
It was becoming more and more apparent that she had not really grieved her Mum’s passing.
Even though her Mum had been sick for a long time and Anna knew it was inevitable, she still had not processed it after four long years.
She was fed up with her friends telling her that she should be over it by now.
That it was not healthy to keep talking about her.
Why are people so sure that their time frame for doing things, for moving on, is the one and only one?
Losing mum has to be one of the most difficult losses in life.
Mum is there when you need someone to listen. She’s there when you need a hug.
She’s the one that really gets you.
Learning how to cope without mum can feel like being in the middle of the ocean without a compass…
So when Anna went from losing her mum, to facing a divorce, and on the verge of losing her stepfather, she was feeling broken and lost.
In life, the people that are closest to us provide physical, emotional, and mental strength to us.
We were never taught at school what security and safety a parent provides us even as adults? Wher we?
We definitely were not taught how to grieve or cope with loss, other than give it time.
When we lose ‘our person’ that very much defines who we are or provides comfort to us, that person is irreplaceable.
And for Anna, it wasn’t about replacing anyone, but leaning into the loss and understanding the lesson that people provided to her, connect to their meaning to her, and celebrate the new connection their loss gave to her.
Once she was able to do that, she could share the process with her young son.
After five sessions together, Anna said:
“I felt lost and alone. My mum had died four years earlier, my stepfather six months ago, I was recently separated and trying to work out how to assist my young son through all of this, as well as keeping him happy”,
I chose to get Karen’s support.
“I did initially find the five-step process very challenging to go through but at the same time, I knew it was changing the way I thought about losses. Changing the way that I grieve and how I get through things.
So, once I put the work in and you have to kind of do that, to get the benefits from what she is teaching you it became so easy to understand.
Now I know how to go through the process for any form of loss that may come into my life.
I know I can get through anything just by following the steps that Karen has given me.
I just can’t thank her enough. I think everyone should give it a go because it really is something that will change your life and for the better”
There’s not a clear timeline for grief.
It’s one step at a time, down a dark path that you can’t see the end to, that allows you to feel, express, and receive the gift from the person or the thing that you’ve lost.
No one loss is better or more difficult than the other.
If you are feeling grief and can feel in your heart that you need help, I’m here to support you. Start by scheduling a Beyond Loss Discovery Session here:
Looking forward to sharing more with you again soon.