One thing I have learned on my beyond loss journey is that awareness is everything. So often we find it easier to put our head in the sand.
To avoid at all cost rather than taking the time to understand what is happening. To look for ways so, we can move on and create our better everyday life.
With this in mind, I thought it would be ideal to share why we do this.
Coping strategies are psychological patterns that individuals use to manage thoughts, feelings, and actions encountered during any loss event. Many times, in life we have developed unconscious habits that are not serving us. To change a habit, we must first be aware of it.
During this phase we are actively gathering information, securing social support, prioritising tasks, active distraction and problem solving.
I love the way my branding lady clearly highlights what this strategy (and the other two) is all about.
It is about you ACTING in a conscious way. Creating the positive outcomes, you desire.
During this phase we are purposefully engaging in activities being distracted by others, in order to not have to think about the event.
Whilst this strategy may initially be effective in dealing with particularly intense feelings and may serve to decrease distress, in the long term if you stay in this for too long it is like you are PASSING on life.
We are here to embrace all of life’s events, to learn and grow from them not to pass on them.
During this phase, our behavioural, cognitive, or emotional activity directs us away from a perceived threat (e.g., denial, withdrawal).
This strategy seems to be a default one for many. Early on we may learn to cover up, hide, or bury our feelings. It is not surprising that sometime later we adapt that same behaviour and cover up our feelings under alcohol or other drugs or other not so ideal habits.
Begging to ask are you DANCING with the devil or DANCING to the music that is within you?
Which is your default coping strategy?
Active, Passive or Avoidance?
As many seem to utilise the avoidance coping strategy, next time I will deep dive into why this is and how we can move from avoidance to active.
Until next time, stay well and remember to reach out if I can assist you in any way.
With love and gratitude,
