As humans we like to compare things. To pigeonhole them. To say that this is right and that is wrong. This is greater than that.
The 40+ loss events seem to be a topic that many have decided, requires a hierarchy. Before I studied and deep dive into learning about loss and how you can easily move beyond it, I was also guilty of thinking that way.
I can remember a few years back being out to dinner with three couples. Yes, we were all drinking a bit and then Candy (not her real name) started going on and on about how she will never get over her husband’s betrayal.
I lost it. I said “For frig sake will you get over it. That was five years ago. You are sitting here with your boyfriend of four years, I lost my son and I have healed, surely you can get over it?”
I have since apologised for my ignorant comment. There is no hierarchy in loss.