The Value of Saying No

There are two traits that men seem to have mastered really well that I believe women should emolliate: Saying No and Self Promotion.
For now, let’s look at the value of saying NO as the benefits of self-promotion was discussed in a previous blog.
Men are expected to assert themselves and speak their mind; that’s what gives them status in our society. They learn to say no early on because if they don’t, they’re labeled wimps.

The Value of Giving a ‘No’ 
One of the major reasons women burn out and have very little time for what inspires us is that we take on too many things. This is mainly because we do not know how to say no, perhaps because we want to please everyone. This does not work. We end up totally exhausted with so many misaligned relationships and projects—all because we cannot say NO.
To counteract our socialisation toward helping others to the detriment of ourselves, let’s look at some great reasons to say No. Eventually this will become second nature to you, and you will begin to see that you not only have more time and energy, you are also more content.

•     Time: There are only 24 hours in the day and how we use it makes a difference. There are no refunds if you waste the time. If you are spending a lot of your time helping everyone else with their relationships and projects, it takes away from time you could invest in creating your own unique life.
•     Resentment: If you are continually doing things for others and not yourself, you will have resentment and wonder, “What about me, when is it my time?” This is a big energy waster and leaves you feeling flat and depressed.
•     Exhausted: This naturally continues from time and resentment. If you are always too tired from doing things for everyone else and being resentful, how will you have the energy to create the life you desire?
•     Continually being asked: This is a bit of a snowball effect. When people know that you can’t say no, they will continually ask you to help, as this allows them extra time to create the life they desire!!
•     Not doing your friend any favours: That is right, if you are continually there to help, how are they learning and growing? Growth is what we are all required to do and it’s through doing things ourselves that we grow and learn.

As you start to say no, keep in mind that you do not need to give a reason you can’t do something. This is the biggest trap we fall into. Giving a reason allows others to alter their request to fit in around your reason for saying NO. Keep it simple, just say NO.

A good guide for any request is to ask yourself this question:

AND If the answer is no, then say NO. It really is that simple.

I am yet to look at a woman’s diary without being able to find them at least an extra 10 hours in a week. We all complain that we would like more time, energy and better relationships. Learn how to say no and this will improve all three.
What things are you going to start saying NO to?
How many more hours per week will you have to spend on things that will make you feel excited and further your goals?

Not sure where to start?

Then check out the many resources on this website.

Until next time…..

Be well and remember to make each day meaningful, memorable and magical………..and never, ever, ever stop dancing!

With Love & Gratitude
Karen Chaston.